IS YOUR BOSS A NASTY PIECE OF WORK?

What to do when the top dog won't wag its tail at you.

NOBODY likes conflict or confrontation. The fact, however , is that it is part of human experience and therefore also part of the workplace. While conflict with a colleague can generally be sorted out at the water cooler, conflict with your superior is quite another matter. So, what do you do when you and your Boss don't see eye to eye at all?

Take a break

Take a deep breath and a minute. Conflict and confrontation are frightening and tend to trigger the fight or flight response. It is important to do neither. When handled in a contructive manner, conflict can have a positive outcome.
It is important not to succumb to the "fight" response when confronted with, for example, unexpected and harsh criticism from your Boss. Even if you are being shouted at in front of other people-which one should hope is not the case in this day and age- resist the impulse to jump in with your own accusations. Instead, take a break from the situation. Acknowledge what your Boss has said but try to give yourself some time to think the matter over before you take it any further. Joyce Lain Kennedy, author of Resumes for Dummies, argues: "No one does his best thinking on an adrenaline rush. You will have more power and better strategy the next day when the shock has worn off"

Think before you react

Learn how to rationally consider the problem. Give some thought to what may have given rise to the situation. Maybe you have made an error. Could it be that you and your Boss had different expectations from a project or different ideas of how it should have been executed? Perhaps you simply come from different background, which make it difficult for you to understand each other.

Arrange a meeting

When you have thought it through, approach your superior to arrange a meeting where the two of you can discuss the problem and seek out possible solutions. The goal is to communicate. This means that you need to talk with your Boss, not at him or her. Take the time to give your perspective of the problem. When you are done, ask your superior what he or she thinks and make sure you really listen. Try to stick to the matter at hand and run through every problem that you have ever encountered.

Consider the options

The next step is to consider various solutions to the problem. The key is to focus on a common goal and to work from there and develop a practical plan for the future.
If you and your superior truly and violently disagree, it may be helpful to approac an informed but unbias outsider to act as a mentor in the resolution phase of thr problem.

According to the Centre for Creative Leadership, there are advantages in the positive resolution of conflict bethween co-workers.

It can clear the air as well as expose underlying issues. Actively trying to resolve conflict by communication creates an open environment, a place where people feel free to innovate and to share their ideas and opinions.
Of course, the the reality is that just as there are unequiped employees in the workplace, there are unequiped leaders as well. If you have the misfortune of working for a "bad Boss" (a bully , a temper queen or a micro-manager who never lets you do anything on your own), then consider the following advice from conflict experts.

Strive for excellence in your job so that your Boss has to struggle to find aspects of your work to criticise. Protect yourself by documenting everything you do and by making sure others know of the work you have done , even if it means copying communigues and forwarding them to your Boss's superior. Keep your attitude towards your superior professional at all times."Know the difference between not liking your Boss and being professional," advice Tristan Loo in the book,

How to Deal with Difficult Boss. Be open and honest. Try to see the interaction with your Boss as a discussion rather than a confrontation and iam to alin your body lanuage with this goal in mind-keep it slow and steady, even if you want to rant and rave. Lastly, if things really et impossible, ask for help. Human resources manager are trained to handle these types of situations